I was walking past where the local bonfire is going to take place this weekend and it reminded me of a “funny” story of such.
Around 5 years ago a mate of mine (no, he really is a mate and it’s not me pretending to pass the limelight) was on his way home from a night on the beer at around 5am in the morning. Now he wanted to buy some cigs from the local Tesco on his way home but when he got to it it was (unsurprisingly) shut. All that was there was a bundle of newspapers that had been left waiting for the staff when they turned in for work.
Now in his drunken state he decided to set the papers on fire, just one of them drunken things.
Now when you’re drunk things seem a good idea at the time but they can go a bit wrong too, as is the case in this story…the fire spread so all the bundles were on fire, in his attempt to quell the flames he got his trouser snake out and tried to put the fire out by relieving his bladder on them. Again, another unsurprising thing happened, it didn’t put the flames out and the fire got bigger (unlike his pecker I imagine)!
Anyway, he was good in that he phoned the fire brigade who came and dealt with the fire before it caused too much more damage and he was subsequently arrested for his crime.
So his court date comes and he’s ordered to pay the damages he caused (about £1,500 for the shop front) and also to do 120 hours community service.
Now, community service means you can end up doing lots of different things, from working in charity shops, helping tidy up areas etc.
The greatest part of this story is that he was given the job of helping to build the local town bonfire.
Fortunately though he didn’t get p*ssed and burn it down before the 5th November